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Tuesday, May 10, 2005

 
Contest: What Radical will Conservatives Steal Next?

Okay, Thus far we have seen conservatives claim:

Martin Luther King Jr. would oppose Affirmative Action.

Ceasar Chavez would support the Minutemen Project.

And my personal favorite:
Jesus Christ opposed Estate Taxes.

So what's next? Today, in a column by Brian McNicoll, a Senior Writer for The Heritage Foundation, the most prestigious conservative think tank in America, McNicoll complains that scientists need to learn a humility, and accept that the uninformed opinions of people who have never studied biology beyond high school might be just as valid as the consensus view of every biologist with a Ph.D. Such closed minded scientists believe, according to McNicoll, that "all issues regarding the origin of life are settled."

How does McNicoll respond to this?

When I hear such talk, I can't help but think of the distinguished members of the scientific community who killed George Washington by using leeches to cure him of what amounted to a bad case of the flu. Or the study that came out just this week saying that a procedure performed a million times a year in this country on women during childbirth not only doesn't help them but makes things worse. Or the sad treatment of Galileo, a distinguished scientist who spent the last years of his life under what amounted to house arrest because he'd been convicted of heresy for asserting that the earth orbited the sun, rather than the other way around.

That's right folks. The fate of Galileo, who was sentenced to life imprisonment by the Catholic Church for reporting his scientific findings about the sun and the earth, demonstrates that we need to teach religious theories of biology as being equally valid to those offered by empirical scientists.

Proposed contest: What radical thinker will next be used to support the conservative agenda? I will start with my own prediction:

We must invade Iran (or Syria, or where ever)! It's what Gandhi would have done.

Remember, given the above examples, this isn't satire, it's merely speculation.



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